Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself (Self Help Book)

Law of Attraction. How the Brain Works. Habitual Thinking. Change.

The recently released, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza does a nice job of combining the Law of Attraction with research about the brain. The book is relatively easy to read and immediately practical. It describes why, despite our best intentions, we stay stuck in self-defeating ways of thinking and behaving. It describes how we identify our “self” from a neurological point of view. It then describes how we can create a new “self.”

I am a great fan of Joe Dispenza. He was one of my favorite people in What the Bleep. I loved Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind even though at times I felt overwhelmed by the amount of detail. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself has just the right amount of science for me. Right from the very beginning, the way the book is written caused me to start contemplating the ideas, even when I was engaged in my daily activities. Although Dispenza never directly refers to Eastern Philosophy, many of the ideas in the book echo Tai Chi and Zen mindfulness principles. This book makes sense to me. It is a wonderful book for people who feel stuck in their lives and want to change.

WWW: Watch (Book)

Consciousness. Watch. Game Theory.  Non-zero-sum.  Beyond Selfish Genes. Turning the Other Check.  Choice. Big Brother. 

WWW: Watch, the second book in Robert J, Sawyer’s WWW Trilogy, continues where WWW: Wake left off. WATCH refers to Web Activity Threat Containment Headquarters, a government agency responsible for keeping the United States safe from on-line threats. Caitlin, the teenager who gained sight in WWW: Wake, refers to not allowing anything happen to Webmind, the name the emerging entity on the internet gives itself, on her watch. Certainly, Hobo, the sign language using chimpanzee Bonobo hybrid, is being watched. Yet, WWW: Watch is also a book about making choices. Both Webmind and Hobo have to choose which paths they will take in the world.

Briefly, at the beginning of WWW: Watch, Caitlin chooses to tell her parents about Webmind. The three humans help play a role in the path of Webmind’s evolution. After Webmind passively watches a teenager commit suicide on-line, Barb, Caitlin’s mother, begins to teach Webmind about being a force for good in the world. Barb draws from the Game Theory of Economics, as well as from Religion. The humans also help Webmind access more information about the world by giving him the capacity to access various types of files as well as to hear actual sounds in Caitlin’s world. In the meantime, Caitlin is still struggling with having sight for the first time and dealing with boys. WATCH not only finds out about Webmind but also makes its first attempt to neutralize him. On another front, Hobo is beginning to exhibit the aggressive behavior associated with chimpanzees. His friends try to give him additional options for how he can choose to relate to the world.

WWW: Wake is not one of the most exciting books I have ever read; the plotline is a bit flat. — I am half way through reading WWW: Wonder, which is more dynamic —Yet, Wake is one of the most thought provoking books I have ever read. Sawyer talks about the differences between human (animal) evolution and Webmind’s evolution, especially when it comes to selfishness. Sawyer invokes both game theory and the Bible to discuss the usefulness of altruism and cooperation. He discusses difficult topics like on-line suicides and Asperger Syndrome. I have evolved while I have been reading and thinking about the books in the WWW Trilogy.

A Footnote: Yesterday, too tired to write up my reaction to WWW: Watch after staying up late to see who won the Hugo for best novel, I watched an interesting interview with Robert J. Sawyer in which he talked about the WWW Series. 

WWW: Wake (Book)

Consciousness. Expanding Awareness. An Epidemic. Eyepod. WebSight. Phantom. Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller. Cellular Automata.  Zipf's law. Asperger Syndrome. Bicameralism. 

WWW: Wake, nominated for the 2010 Hugo and Campbell Awards, is a story about expanding consciousness. Robert J. Sawyer’s novel describes the cognitive awakening of a fifteen-year-old girl, a chimpanzee-bonobo hybrid, and a cyber-intelligence. This is the type of science fiction I love. Sawyer fills the novel with science and technology. At the same time, he creates characters that I can care about.

Briefly, the main storyline is about Caitlin, a teenager who has been blind since birth because of a disorder involving the way her retinas and brain communicate. After a doctor performs an experimental procedure to attempt to restore her sight, the first thing she sees is the World Wide Web (nodes, routing, etc.)—she has been using the web since she was eighteen-months-old. Eventually, she also gains physical sight. Sawyer shows how she gradually adjusts. One of the unexpected effects is that she realizes her dad, a respected physicist, has Asperger Syndrome. She retains her WebSight and comes to see a phantom in the web. The second plotline is about the expanding awareness of this phantom. To control public reaction, a major country temporarily creates a firewall isolating it from the rest of the world. The phantom becomes aware that part of him is cut off from another part of him. This awakens his consciousness. The third storyline is about Hobo, a research chimp who uses sign language and occasionally paints. After the researchers put him on a web conference with another sign using chimp, something in Hobo’s thinking process changes. He begins to understand the concept of representing the three dimensional world in two dimensions. To add to this idea of awakening consciousness, Sawyer weaves in the story of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller and the ideas in Julian Jaynes’s book Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. 

I was drawn into the story and don’t want to leave, even after I have finished the book. Fortunately WWW: Wake is the first book in the WWW Trilogy.

A Study in Scarlet (Mystery Book & Thoughts)

I must thank you [Watson] for it all. I might not have gone but for you, and so missed the finest study I ever came across: a study in scarlet, eh? Why shouldn’t we use a little art jargon. There’s a scarlet thread of murder through the colorless skein of life, and our duty is to unravel it, and isolate it, and expose every inch of it.

In solving a problem of this sort [unraveling the murder], the grand thing is to be able to reason backwards…There are few people…who, if you told them a result, would be able to evolve from their own consciousness what the steps were that led to the result.

“You are going to read Sherlock Homes.” I heard the thoughts in my head as loud as I heard that I was going to read the Hugo winners over a year ago. I have no idea whether this idea is from my subconscious, my intuition, or some literary divine guidance [or the high humidity and insomnia making my synapses fire oddly]. All I know is that the thought has been very, very insistent. I don’t remember reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes. My neighbor-sister, who is two years older than I am, insists that we had to have read it in school. I admit that we probably read some short stories, but I don’t remember the novels: A Study in Scarlet, The Sign of Four, The Hounds of the Baskervilles, and The Valley of Fear. So, I begin a four novel mini-adventure, with at least five mysteries to solve: the mystery in each book and the mystery of why I feel so driven to read them.

Einstein talked about standing on the shoulders of the scientist that came before him. Many contemporary mystery and some science fiction writers stand on the shoulders of Doyle and his Sherlock Holmes series. As I was reading A Study in Scarlet, I had flashes of the many detective TV shows that I have watched over the years, particularly Monk who shares Holmes's gift of observation. After reading how Holmes uses “young scoundrels” to help him research his case, I was reminded of how the detectives in Christopher Fowler’s Bryant and May series –one of my favorite series of any genre– often use various unsavory individuals to help them solve a case. In thinking about this, I am reminded of how a skilled winemaker can describe the grapes used in a wine that he has tasted for the first time. I am sure that an astute reader can identify the influences of a particular author.

In A Study in Scarlet, originally published in 1887, Watson first meets Holmes. Both men are looking for a roommate. Watson originally is derisive of the concepts on which Holmes builds his discipline. After Holmes takes Watson on a case, his opinion quickly changes and he becomes one of Holmes's biggest fans.

Very briefly, Holmes is called in by detectives to help them solve a case. The body of a man is found in an empty house. The body does not appear to have any signs of trauma and any obvious cause of death, but there is blood on the scene. On the wall are the red letters RACHE. As the story progresses, the detectives first choose the wrong suspects, and, of course, Holmes finds the killer.

The novel has two parts. At the end of Part One, Holmes identifies the killer. At first, Part Two appeared to be a totally unrelated story about a man and a little girl who are dying in the desert and rescued by Mormons. I wondered if the book actually was two separate stories. Finally, I realized that this was the backstory that explains the motive for the murder(s). If A Study in Scarlet were written today, I would expect the author to alternate the storylines until they came together. Even when I thought there were two separate plots, I was very impressed by Doyle’s ability to tell a good story.

I am feeling a vague sense of reverence while I read these classic novels. I have a 900 page, annotated compilation of the four books out from the library, adding to the mystique. I adore Holmes power of observation and his ability to “reason backwards.”

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion (Self-help Book)

Being compassionate means that we recognize when someone is in pain, we abandon our fear of or resistance to it, and a natural feeling of love and kindness flows toward the suffering individual.

We start [being self-compassionate] by befriending who we are today, no matter how fumbling, incomplete, or clueless we are. Full acceptance of ourselves, moment to moment, makes it easier to adapt and change in the direction we’d like to go.

Compassion and self-compassion are topics that have gained popularity in recent years. In a society where depression and anxiety have become almost epidemic, self-compassion is a much needed skill. The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher K. Germer is a helpful, well-written, and very user friendly book. It contains principles that the reader can immediately begin to put into practice, yet it so full of good content that many readers will want to come back to it again and again.

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion discusses three major tools: acceptance, mindfulness, and Metta. Acceptance involves befriending ourselves in the moment. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment. Metta is a type of prayer/meditation that invokes loving-kindness.

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion contains good activities and plenty of examples. It also includes information — nicely set off from the main text—about research in the area of self-compassion. What I especially like about the book is that it recognizes that we are not all the same. Germer includes suggestions for different personalities. He also offers alternatives for different activities. For example, many meditation instructions use the breath as a way to anchor a person’s awareness. Unfortunately this doesn’t always work for me; I sometimes begin to hyperventilate. Germer includes additional anchors the user can try.

I have read The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion once, but feel that I have only scratched the surface on the information. What I found interesting is that I began to feel more compassionate toward other people after finishing the book. The skills involved in self-compassion also affect how we interact with the world.

Last Tai Chi Class of the School Year

Experiential. We just finished our last Tai Chi class of the school year. I learned more this year than I have in any year since I originally learned the Tai Chi form. This year was very experiential. Rather than focusing on Bob, our Tai Chi instructor, we were directed to focus on our own experiences as we did the form. Sometimes Bob would have us focus our attention on a particular part of our body or particular aspect of our movement, such as shifting our weight. Other times Bob would have us use some sort of visualization as we did the form.

In this last class, Bob used more visualization. First, we imagined elongating our arms: shoulder to elbow, elbow to wrist, and hand to fingertip. Next, we were to imagine that our head was being pulled upward and our pelvis being pulled downward, elongating our spine. After that, we were to imagine that our back was leaning against a wall as we did the form, an interesting feeling. We closed the class and the year by doing the form as if it were brand new, like we were doing it for the first time.

I end the class with a mixture of sadness, fear, and gratitude. I am not sure where my life is going to take me, so I don’t know whether I will be back in autumn. Yet, I was exposed to so many ideas in the past year that I have enough material to experiment with for a long, long time.

Eleventh Tai Chi Class of the Semester

Grace. How strange to write about my experiences on Saturday in the middle of a blog that right now is mostly filled with my reactions to Science Fiction books.

Saturday morning the first bus I took dropped me off at my transfer point early, so I decided to forgo the second bus and walk the mile and a half to class instead. Despite the overcast and somewhat windy day, I made an intention to use the experience to be present in the moment. When I arrived at the college campus where class is held, I still had almost half an hour to amuse myself. Part of me was irritated. Another part of me decided to use this as part of my purpose for coming there.

The path leading from the road to the buildings is surrounded by old oak trees. Over the years, I have read about people who believe that oaks contain wisdom and possibly healing abilities. Who know whether that is true? I just allowed myself to be present, to pay attention to the trees and any birds. Instead of going directly to class, I took a gravel path that led off to the side. I had never been on it before. That early in the morning it was a bit deserted, but I decided I was supposed to walk along it that day. The path had enough of an incline to get my sap moving. More old trees. I saw parts of the campus I had never been to before. Almost 100 year old buildings beside new construction. But the amazing part was what I felt. A coolness. Clear air. A calm that went to my very core. The peace that passes all understanding. I don’t think there are words to describe it. Coming from the opposite direction than what I normally take into the building where class is held, I noticed that high above the walkway there is a niche containing a statue of Mother Mary. Despite not being Catholic, I could somehow feel her energy.

Bob began class with Zhan Zhuang, Standing like a Tree meditation. This has been my nemesis over the years. Since I was a little kid, standing in one place without moving has been an invitation to get light headed and slowly start to black out. I was not amused, especially after my walk. But, somehow the experience was different this time. Bob added more of a meditation aspect that seemed to work for me. I was a bit disappointed when we stopped and began to do the Tai Chi form.

We did the full Tai Chi form twice. The second time we listened to Bob’s tape in preparation for the demonstration that he plans to give for World Tai Chi Day. We ended class doing the last part of the form while focusing on our feet: where we put our weight as we moved and how we switched from one foot to another.

Of course the real end to my little journey was going to the library and picking up two Science Fiction books that had been transferred from other libraries.

Focus (Quote)

Even though I am no longer taking classes in or practicing Liuhebafa—an internal martial art— I am still finding inspiration in reading Liuhebafa Five Character Secrets by Paul Dillon. Here is a wonderful quote on focus. I especially like the imagery: feeling unfocused, imagine a tiger.

Creative Imagination (Intent) moves like a fearsome tiger.

A tiger on a hunt is single pointed, totally focused on its prey. When it moves it is awesome in its ferocity and power often bringing down animals that are larger and more powerful like a water buffalo or an elephant.

Just so, you must use this example of focused intensity when you are establishing your intention or goal. You must have the strength of purpose to stick to achieve this goal. Do not think that something is too big or too difficult to accomplish. Through experience you will see how holding onto your dream and steadily working at it can bring the most fantastic results.

Fourth Tai Chi Class of the Semester

Last week subzero wind chills convinced me to stay home from Tai Chi. This week my Tai Chi lesson began as soon as I stepped out the door. The predicted snow that we didn’t get last night evidently was instead light rain. A thin coating of ice covered the sidewalks. I had a hard time getting traction to walk the half mile to the bus. So, I lowered my center of gravity—which is a lesson that Bob, our Tai Chi instructor, has harped on for years—and barely raised me feet off the ground as I walked, a type of skating movement. Years ago I took a class on Ba Gua Zhang from Bob which used that same movement. It worked; I didn’t have an issue with slipping when I stayed focused on the movement.

The actual Tai Chi was very helpful too, as always. We again focused our attention on different things as we did the form: neck and shoulders, arm and leg joints, ligaments, shifting weight from leg to leg, the fullness of each posture, and staying in sync with the participants around us. I realized I don’t have a lot of sense of my ligaments. The tightness in my neck and shoulders are my bane. Sometimes when I focus on them they relax. Other times they seem to be giving me the raspberries: “Yeah, you just make us relax. Na, Na.” Anyway, I have enough old and new things to keep me busy in practice this week.

Yoga for Anxiety (Book)

A Kinder, Gentler Approach to Anxiety.

In Yoga for Anxiety, Mary NurrieStearns, LCSW, RYT and Rick NurrieStearns offer a gentle, compassionate approach to handling anxiety and share wise insights based on their experiences. I originally picked up the book because I thought I could benefit from some Yoga postures that specifically target the fight or flight —anxiety—response. The book delivered on that and a whole lot more. Using the philosophy of Yoga as a foundation, the authors discuss the causes of anxiety and how to calm the mind, providing meaningful questions and exercises. Some of the tools they offer to ease anxiety are mantras, different types of breathing techniques, and awareness/witnessing techniques.

Scattered throughout the book were tidbits that made me think “why didn’t someone tell me this a long time ago!!”  For example, many of us have had plenty of insights into what may have originally caused our anxiety, but then feel stuck about what to do next. The authors offer a simple, yet powerful phrase to say to ourselves when old material comes up in the present: “such an innocent misunderstanding.”  Another powerful insight is the concept of samskara, grooves created in our minds from reoccurring thoughts. It helped me understand some of the frustrations I have had over the years when trying to deal with anxiety. A much smaller, but useful tidbit was the idea of doing mantras—which rightly or wrongly I associated with affirmations—beginning on the out breath, thus engaging the parasympathetic, relaxation, response. Similarly, the authors indicated that people tend to be more relaxed when they inhale through their left nostril. Yet, another major “wow” for me was the idea that we do violence to ourselves by our inner criticism.

Anxiety is a complex disorder, which often requires a multiple-part solution: medicine, diet, exercise, psychotherapy. Yoga for Anxiety never suggests that it has the answer. What it does have are some wise insights and useful tools that can be utilized immediately. The authors understand how to gently coax anxiety out of our lives.

First Tai Chi Class of the Semester

Like Coming Home. I had to take two buses this morning with a wind chill in the single digits to get to class. I am not sure how to explain the experience to people who don’t have a similar point of reference. Yes, I could have been doing Tai Chi at home, maybe even trying something new from a book, but it wouldn't have been the same thing. After class Mary was kind enough to drop me off at a bus stop, so that I didn’t have to make a transfer on my way home, and she referred to the group as her “Tai Chi Sisters.” Many in the group have been together for over ten years.

On our first pass through the Tai Chi form this morning Bob, our Tai Chi Instructor, had us focus on how we felt. I am sure he had something different in mind when he gave the instructions than what I noticed. First, I became aware of what was stiff and hurt. I then became aware of how different it was practicing with a group than by myself, having to pay attention to the pace of the other women—and one man—around me. I became aware of a certain vulnerability welling up inside of me as I realized how tentative and fragile the experience of being together as a little community is.—Earlier this week, after I received news that a once close friend had passed away, I had spent time thinking about the close knit groups I had been involved with in another state.— Lastly, I became aware of a global body energy: a circle around me, the farthest reach of my hands and my knees, and of my feet when I kicked.

Bob talked about going into the void, into the unknowing. This seems to be a theme in my life lately, including some of the books I have been reading. New ideas and learning come up from that void. So, as the class progressed and we did parts of the form, we were instructed to focus on specific parts of our bodies and just pay attention without thinking about them conceptually, without any preconceived notions, being open to what came up. Our last time through, we were instructed to focus on foot, ankle, knee, and hip. I started running into a paradox, because I needed to have some way of homing into those parts. I tried to imagine dots on each part, which created a layer between my attention and my direct awareness. I am beginning to feel much more camaraderie with all those old Zen masters and their convoluted sentences.

As we left class, Mary echoed my sentiments. This year's classes has been some of the most challenging and most rewarding.

Kata’s 2010 Reflections

2010 was one of the most interesting years of my life, not the best or most successful or happiest, but one of the most interesting. For me interesting is a positive thing, a reason for getting up in the morning, a reason for putting one foot in front of the other and living each day. Almost everything that happened was unexpected. Maybe I just put the interesting vibration out into the universe.

In early spring I sent my cousin a very emotional e-mail about all the things that were going wrong in my life. One of my last sentences was asking whether I could do work for him, any work, just to try to stay sane. Coincidentally, he was in the process of submitting a proposal for a self-paced training course. I’ve been writing training materials for a long time, but I didn’t know anything about federal laws and how industrial air pollution is controlled. In addition, much to my cousin’s chagrin, I managed to earn a master’s degree without every taking a physics course. So, I immersed myself in the content I received from my cousin as well as practically everything I could find on the Internet. Because I love to learn, this was sheer happiness.

In late spring, I was an enumerator for the 2010 Census, not particularly successful financially, but a great way to meet fascinating people. One of my favorites was an 80+ year old owner of a massive apartment complex, who told me her secrets for keeping young. Because the apartments were close to a medical college, I was also able to chat with young adults from various countries.

In June, bored with what I was reading, I decided to begin to read Hugo award winning novels, 50 years worth of novels, a goal that is going to take me well into the middle of 2011. Each novel makes me think, some more than others. Each novel enlarges my view of the world and of how writers express themselves through words. In addition, I have been exposed to more science. Those concepts I learned while working on the air pollution course have reappeared in a number of the novels.

My blogs have been a source of fascination for me. At the beginning of the year, I set out to write 50 entries in Kata Chimes In and 100 entries in Kata’s Cadence. Little did I know that I would have a small religious crisis and have almost no motivation to write in the second blog, which I associated with my participation in a particular church. In autumn I noticed someone had accessed my New Year’s Resolution post, so I reread it. I am not a person who takes goals lightly. For the last three months of the year, I wrote a poem, blessing, prayer or affirmation almost every morning. Who could ask for a better education? I learned about myself, about writing, and about my readers.

In fall, I went back to taking Tai Chi classes after a two year break. This was one of the hardest and most rewarding semesters for me. Because this was an advanced class, the emphasis was on internal awareness, an area that most of us have little training in. Sure, I could do the form, but do the form while trying to feel my heart beat?

Throughout the year, my thoughts about how I perceive people have changed. Enumerating for the Census forced me outside my comfort zone. Books like The Cow In The Parking Lot by Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston, Yoga for Anxiety by Mary NurrieStearns and Rick NurrieStearns, The Miracle of Right Thinking by Orison Swett Marden and The Learning to Love Yourself Workbook by Gay Hendricks helped change the way I look at myself and the world.

For Christmas, I decided to make some Christmas ornaments based on a design in the book Diane Fitzgerald's Shaped Beadwork. I loved how my brain twisted in little knots when I tried to think three-dimensionally. Last night I tried a different pattern in preparation for making a gift for myself (and maybe next year’s Christmas presents). I just didn’t get it, and then all of a sudden, later in the evening, it clicked.

The year contained hundreds of other fascinating things, including farmers’ markets I didn’t know about, new recipes, things from my parents and my childhood that I still am finding as I clean out the house. Today my neighbor-sister took me to a Hispanic grocery store, and I didn’t want to leave. This year, I have been like a little kid, filled with wonder.

I am afraid of 2011. I realized that as I debated whether to try my hand at writing a New Year’s blessing. I like small changes, but don’t like major upheavals. This coming year has a high probability for major upheavals. The New Thought writers talk a lot about faith, and I think the coming year will require me to depend upon it more than in recent years.

The Cow In the Parking Lot

Ican imagine the Sixth Sense version of Haley Joel Osment saying “I see angry people” and giving a look of horror for the camera. I see angry people everywhere: on the television, in public places campaigning, on the internet, on the magazine rack in the grocery store, even in the mirror. Such rampant anger can’t be good for society, and it certainly isn’t good for people’s health.

Evidently I am not alone in my experience. This week I read The Cow in the Parking Lot—A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger by Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston. Most intrapersonal change begins with awareness. The authors suggest we begin by observing when we are angry and then start looking at what unfulfilled needs might be triggering the anger. Using the Zen approach, they describe anger as an addiction and as a habitual way of dealing with life. This little book is packed with good advice.

Where does the cow fit in? The book begins with a story of someone waiting patiently for a particular parking spot and then, at the last second, someone in another car taking their spot. Grrrr!! Now imagine instead a cow taking the spot instead of the car. Huh? Different experience, eh?